Overweight brides in India frequently experience the temptation to trim down because the norm is to be thin. They are also told that being skinny is the only way to find a good husband.
Shaili Bhat, a 28-year-old lawyer from Mumbai, was told by the salesman that she would have to pay more when trying on a wedding dress because “She is overweight, the garment is a larger size. Thus, more cloth is needed to sew.
“That sentence came across as being self-evident. I’ve become accustomed to accepting that my body is not as trim as many others’ throughout the years. However, the salesman’s remarks that took place in front of my future husband embarrassed me “said Bhat to Vice News.
The practice of criticizing or calling attention to someone’s weight, physical size, or eating habits is known as “fat shaming,” and it affects women all over the world.
Women in India are still routinely inspected and criticized for their appearance, and criticizing the appearance of an overweight person is also a common practice. This conduct is considerably worse for girls who are engaged to be married or who have recently been married.
Depression brought on by weight loss pressure
Brides are under a lot of pressure to trim down before the big day. I’ll be questioned by relatives and friends about why I don’t diet before the wedding. One person even tried to bring me slimming tea, Tanaya Narendra, as Dr. Cuterus, revealed in a social media post.
Another time, while trying on a wedding dress, Tanaya was “looked from top to bottom” by a store employee who enquired “oh, you’re getting married.”
A number of girls shared the female PhD student’s message online and were inspired to share their own comparable experiences.
“Every kind of media features slender brides. That has an impact on how I view myself.
You will be looked down upon if you enter a store wearing 2XL apparel. Some even state up front that they do not have the appropriate size for you. In addition, because I was wearing a larger size, I was requested to pay 780 USD rather than 540 USD for the wedding dress, claimed Shriya Momaya, 27. Shriya is getting married in November.
Momaya’s father was once advised by the future mother-in-law to take six months off work and concentrate on becoming in shape. She once overheard her mother-in-law remark that when women like her wear traditional Indian wedding attire, they appear twice as large.
“Despite being intelligent and having a prosperous business career, I could not win her over. I’m overweight, and that’s all that matters.
Momaya disclosed that she had a history of self-harm and depression. Depression might return due to the continual criticism of the body from loved ones and others who are not physically close enough.
“I almost harmed myself, but fortunately I managed to control it.”
The two sides are engaged in a contentious debate about the “oversize tax,” which refers to the idea of charging more for plus-size items.
Retailers contend that higher expenses are caused by the use of more fabric and, in the case of Indian bridal apparel, frequently more embroidery or ornamentation.
On the side of plus-size brides, they believe that they are not worth the extra money if the small size is not lowered because it costs less.
“Big fat means you can’t get a decent person”
The pressure brides feel to look thin on their wedding day is explained by psychologist Hvovi Bhagwagar as follows: “We were raised in a very collectivist culture in India. the needs and objectives of the bride and groom; group objectives over personal ones “.
As a result, there are no restrictions on what to say to others and what not to say. Young people are expected to pay attention to and obey their elders’ guidance.
Additionally, arranged marriages are still highly common in this South Asian nation. Women have little influence over who they marry.
“In my experience, the amount of the dowry in arranged weddings is frequently determined by the bride’s height, weight, skin tone, and other physical characteristics. In other words, appearance is more significant than character.” said Bhagwagar.
According to psychologists, many female clients who already have mental health issues are more prone to develop anxiety and sadness as their wedding approaches. They sometimes skip meals in an effort to please everyone.
Zeenat, 32, married through matchmaker. “I can only obtain a great person, a good job, and a good family, only if I drop at least 20 kg,” stated a very powerful woman in my neighborhood and matchmaker.
Prior to it, Zeenat had hyperthyroidism, which contributed to her rapid weight gain.
“My self-esteem is utterly destroyed when people say that I am unworthy of a suitable husband simply because I am overweight. When I received more than a dozen rejection letters, it became worse. I gave in and agreed with one individual under duress. Just because a man accepts the way I look doesn’t mean I like him in the slightest. In the end, the matchmaker continued telling me that if I followed weight loss recommendations, I could find a much better man.”
